I Love Jesus, But I Still Feel Anxious
So often, I hear the word “anxiety” used to describe today’s generation. It is talked about in sermons, on social media, in counseling rooms, and in everyday conversations. I think it is one of those words that gets repeated so often that it starts to lose its meaning.
Understanding Anxiety and Its Purpose
So, what is anxiety? Here’s how I think of it.
Anxiety is your body’s alarm system. It is designed to keep you safe. It helps you pay attention, prepare, and respond when something feels important or even threatening.
In that sense, anxiety is not all bad. We actually need some anxiety! Without it, we might not study for our big exam, prepare for a hard conversation, work hard at our jobs, or even notice when something needs our attention. A healthy amount of anxiety can move us toward action.
But sometimes, our alarm system becomes a little too sensitive.
In my apartment, we have a fire alarm that goes off at the slightest hint of smoke. If I leave my toaster oven open even for a moment, the incessant beeping starts, and my husband and I frantically start waving pillows to get the sound to stop (I may not be a world-class chef, but I’m definitely not burning my food).
That’s sort of like our internal alarm system when it gets too sensitive. There may not be an actual fire, but the alarm is still loud and pretty hard to ignore. This can happen because of stress, past experiences, trauma, pressure, perfectionism, or even carrying too much for too long. Your body, or the fire alarm system, starts to go off as if you are in danger, even when you are technically safe.
And this is when shame may flood in.
We may say or think to ourselves, “Why am I so anxious? I have no reason to feel this way.” Or, for Christians, it might be even heavier: “If I actually trusted God, I wouldn’t feel this way.”
The truth is, you cannot completely get rid of anxiety. And you shouldn’t! Just like in our homes, we need that fire alarm system to keep us safe. But we can change our relationship with anxiety.
Practical Steps for Managing Anxiety
(big quote right here):
“That which I resist, persists. That which I embrace, dissolves.”
Instead of fighting fire with fire, what if anxiety could be met with gentleness? What if it is not an enemy to defeat, but a scared part of you trying to get your attention?
One of the first ways we can practice this is by naming it.
“I’m feeling anxious right now,
“My body feels on high alert,”
“There is a scared part of me that needs care.”
Naming anxiety helps create a little bit of space between you and the feeling. You are not anxiety. You are experiencing anxiety.
Then, you can begin to notice it. Maybe your heart is racing. Maybe your stomach feels tight. Maybe your shoulders are tense, your breathing is shallow, or your thoughts are spiraling.
Instead of immediately asking, “How do I make this stop?” you might ask, “Where do I feel this in my body?”
And then, validate it. This doesn’t mean that your anxiety is always rooted in truth. What you are saying is that your experience of anxiety makes sense! For example:
“Of course I feel anxious about this exam. I care about doing well.”
“Of course I feel anxious about this conversation. I want to be understood.” “Of course I feel afraid. This has felt scary before.”
“Of course I want to do well at my job. I want to keep it!”
Once anxiety feels acknowledged, then we can come back to what is true.
“I feel afraid, but I am safe right now.”
“This matters to me, but I do not have to solve it or have all the answers right this second.”
“God is with me here, even in this anxious place.”
Finding Strength in God’s Presence
I think this is a lot like the way God meets us. He’s always there with steadiness, and gentleness, and presence. (Psalm 46:1-2, Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 23:4, Deuteronomy 31:8, Matthew 28:20, 1 Peter 5:7). A steady presence can make all the difference.
One of my favorite stories is about a little boy who was afraid of the dark. He would be terrified every night before bed, and he just couldn’t fall asleep. But one day, a genius babysitter gave him a stuffed bear before bedtime. She told the little boy, “This is Little Bear. Little Bear is really afraid of the dark. Can you make sure he feels safe?”
The little boy understood that it was his job to be strong for Little Bear. Filled with bravery, he started to tell Little Bear the same thing his parents and his babysitters would tell him. “I know the dark is scary. But you’re going to be okay. I’m here with you.”
After some time, the little boy was able to fall asleep on his own. He had created a healthy relationship between himself and his anxiety. (And I’ll bet Little Bear felt very reassured, too).
The Role of Support and Faith
Christian counseling can be a space to bring your anxious heart before God honestly, without pretending you are fine or forcing yourself to feel peace before you are ready. It can be a place to slow down, to listen to what your anxiety may be protecting, and to learn how to respond with compassion instead of criticism.
You can absolutely love Jesus, and still feel anxious. You can have faith, and still have a nervous system that feels overwhelmed.
But with time, practice, gentleness, support, and God’s care, you can begin to change your relationship with anxiety. It can be a fire alarm properly calibrated to do what it was meant to: to keep you safe.
If you are looking for support and desire faith-based Anxiety Therapy, counselors at Hope Healing Counseling are ready to meet you where you are.